Potions & Perceptions
When I was nine years old, I was a total Potterhead.
And I mean a shameless nerd.
I read the entire series within a year, a fact that I now find amusing as a college student with hardly any time to spare on even a magazine. But alas, reading the Harry Potter series was not merely a leisure activity; the wizarding world taught me many a life lesson that I never would have learned in math class or in Sunday School (especially since many churches consider Harry Potter to be sacrilegious). Dumbledore taught me to not fear death, Ron taught me the futility and viciousness of jealousy, and Hermione taught me how to be a shameless nerd.
One of my favorite scenes in The Half-Blood Prince is the one in which Hermione smells Amortentia in Potions class.
Amortentia is a love potion that is a kind of aphrodisiac; it smells like that which attracts you and is thus unique to each person. Hermione tells the class that she smells freshly cut grass and a piece of parchment paper before blushing and falling silent to avoid exposing her crush on Ron (in the movie she fills the awkward silence with “spearmint toothpaste”).
The power of J.K. Rowling’s writing is that it makes you think about what you would smell if you were in Potions class alongside Hermione, Ron, and Harry. I have thought about this question several times over the 13 years since I first read the book, and, of course, the answer has frequently changed. It used to be chocolate, chlorine, and freshly sharpened pencils, and then it was chocolate, gasoline, and Goldfish, and now it is chocolate, cardamom, and peanut butter (don’t judge).
Whenever I experience an attack of anxiety or stress, one of the best things for me to do is return to sensory perceptions and my own “self-love potion.” I like to feel my bare feet touching dewy grass, hear my boy John Mayer croon on his guitar, and smell all the scents rising from a cup of steaming chai. Returning to these familiar perceptions reminds me that I am already strong and pure enough to love and feel grateful for my countless blessings. In recognizing this, I also realize that I am strong and pure enough to halt the train of negativity in my mind. Gratitude empowers you like that.
A hot cup of chai to balance the cold air of the Himalayas.
But here’s the catch and the difference between my potion and Amortentia: the perfect potion does not evoke infatuation or obsession, but rather instills balance and equanimity.
It’s not about replacing a binge on stress with a binge on food or replacing an abstinence from self-compassion with an abstinence from nutrition. We can’t find replacements to satisfy our compulsion for extremes, even if those replacements seem harmless on the surface (i.e. over-exercising or recklessly diving into extreme meditation). In choosing the ingredients and quantities for our self-love potions, we must be realistic about what we can and should include. A perfect potion will make you fall in love with your true self, so choose accordingly.
What would a love potion for yourself smell like?
Write three sensory perceptions down in a place that is visible to you – I like to place sticky notes on my mirror – and return to these ideas next time you feel yourself floating away from self-compassion. Make sure they are easily accessible – perhaps it is the smell of your favorite perfume, the taste of a special tea, or the sound of waves crashing on a YouTube video.
Who knows? Maybe by reminding yourself of all the things your mind is already capable of appreciating in the world, you can fall more in love with yourself every day.