Does “Trigger Warning” Trigger You?
I first heard of the concept of “triggering” in 2016 when I was a rising high school senior. Walking back from my last class of the afternoon at the Governor’s School of North Carolina, I began to see signposts along the cobblestone pathway that warned me of a triggering event up ahead. I was not sure what that meant, and after a month of living among liberal, uber-smart creatives, I was excited to see what was in store. Was this another spacey exhibition by the dance class? A modern art exhibition? Did the math geeks finally come out to blow our minds and outdo us all?
Abruptly, I was jolted out of my 4 PM sun-dazzled reverie when I saw bodies strewn out across the quad in a chaotic disarray. As I walked closer, I realized these bodies were members of the Spanish class posing in various expressions of violation. If I remember correctly, one person was tied to a chair while others were sprawled on the grass. All held signs with stories and statistics about sex trafficking between Latin American countries and the United States. As you might imagine, I walked away knowing exactly what “trigger” meant.
The “triggering” concept is a very important one to understand and respect. Whether we are talking about triggering scenes in a movie or triggering words in conversation, sensitive topics that seem small to some can be loaded with negative connotations and memories for others. It can take years, sometimes decades, for a person to recover from trauma, and it is imperative that we do not rush another person’s recovery.
At the same time, if we truly want to heal from the wounds of our past, we must personally take it upon ourselves to confront our triggers. When I was struggling with binge eating, I had a few trigger foods. Namely, Oreos. I did not dare let myself eat what used to be preferred packaged cookie. I was afraid. I was afraid that if I bit into milk’s favorite cookie, all the negative memories and emotions would come rushing back to me from my binge eating days.
At first, I respected that aversion. I gave myself time to heal. But when months and months had passed since my last binge, I knew that the time had come to confront my fear. I thought more deeply about why I considered Oreos to be a trigger, and I discovered that I had come to expect them to be a trigger. I knew that I had healed internally. I knew that my mind was ten times stronger than it had been when I ate entire stacks of Oreos in one night. I knew that I loved myself more than I had in many, many months. The only thing that was stopping me from eating that delicious chocolate and crème delight was my outdated understanding that I would not be able to handle it.
It was like trying to stick a cassette tape into a CD player; my hardwiring had completely changed, and yet I kept trying to feed myself the wrong information.
When I realized how much I had grown since my binge eating days, I grabbed one of those gloriously blue packages of Oreos at a post-race meal tent and bit into what tasted like childhood. Ahh, yes. I was transported back to Trick-or-Treating, post swim practice snacks, and a cozy cabin in the woods at Young Life camp. I savored the sandwich cookies, closing my eyes to relish the memories rushing through my mind. Oreos were no longer triggering me to binge. They were triggering me to love.
By all means, take your time with your triggers. Some have dug deeper wounds than others, and it is important to respect that. But in the end, remember that the only food source triggers have are your fears, and that they are therefore not a product of reality, but of your own biased experiences. Think of it this way: if triggers were based on reality, then we would all be triggered by the same things! If you could starve your triggers of fear and shower them only with love and a balanced perspective, imagine how they might transform to become instigators of positivity. A trigger word might now remind you of how far you have come. A trigger scene might remind you of all the hard work you can do to protect others from the fate you had to endure. And a trigger food might now become something you can enjoy.
If you take away two things from this discussion, let them be this:
Don’t let triggers become excuses for not thinking about what is truly bothering you. Whatever is triggering you is not the problem; whatever is causing you to be triggered is. Again, it is perfectly acceptable to ask your friends and family not to use certain words or discuss certain topics while you heal. But remember that you can heal, which means that…
“Once a trigger, always a trigger” is a myth! Who knows, maybe your trigger, like my Oreos, can actually point you towards something beautiful.