Challenge Accepted.
Written By Molly Monsour
I’ve probably gained weight since being home, but I’m okay with it.
In fact, I don’t even really care. If anything, I’m happy, because a healthier body will be especially helpful given the circumstances. I’m baking because I have an equipped kitchen and some spare time, and it makes me happy. My exercise is weird, and random, because I can’t go to the gym, but that’s okay because I’m helping to flatten the curve. I may be eating more than usual, I’m not entirely sure, because it varies day to day. Some days I need a snack, other days I eat bigger meals. This quarantine has really challenged my schedule, but I am adjusting, and I am okay.
If this pandemic had hit two years ago, I don’t know if I could have handled it. My mental state would’ve been a complete mess. A full month of eating my mom’s meals and take out? That would have drove me to hysterics. Hearing about everyone’s weight-loss goals, or weight-gain fears would’ve sent me in a downward spiral.
This past month, however, I have embraced the uncertainty. I’m not going to lie, there have obviously been some times which were more stressful than others. Thoughts about restricting, or binge exercising, pop into my mind every once in a while, but I remind myself how my body (and immune system!) needs fuel even if I haven’t gotten out of bed. I choose to focus on how my family and I are healthy, together, and living in a home with a refrigerator.
Everyone is entitled to anxiety, fear, and whatever other emotions they are feeling, but for me, I’ve found it helpful to concentrate on how lucky I am, rather than how chaotic and uncontrollable life feels.
This pandemic is scary, no doubt about it; but it also has the capacity to bring so many great things. Face your fear foods, let go of your strict exercise schedule, find new music, host personal dance parties, live in each moment, because it’s now obvious how unpredictable life can be. As uncertainty allows disordered thoughts to sneak back in, be sure to push them away, because you didn’t come this far in your recovery to be set back. Allow these next few weeks to be rejuvenating, learn a new hobby, bake, spend time with your family (virtually or for real), slow life down! We get so wrapped up in being productive and achieving perfection, that we forget to appreciate everything we have achieved.
Let this pandemic be a reality check to live life to the fullest, rather than being bogged down by calorie counts and diet culture.
As I always remind myself, in 30 years will I remember what I had for lunch today or will I remember zoom hang outs, learning to paint, and baking with my family?
About Molly
I am a 20 year old Duke student from Tampa, FL studying Neuroscience and Psychology. I love cooking (anything with sweet potatoes) and baking! I also love running and fun exercise classes like kickboxing.
I banter because… I was diagnosed with anorexia in May 2018.
My previous summer was dictated by therapy appointments and doctors visits (quite the celebration to finishing freshman year am I right?). I was lucky enough to have a strong support system which allowed me to regain my health and return to school in the Fall.
Since returning, I’ve become hyper-aware of the frequency of disordered eating habits on campus, from skipping meals to casual discussions around topics like “calories,” “low-carb,” and “skinny”. As someone who has and continues to struggle with disordered eating, these patterns are upsetting and I feel strongly about promoting healthy attitudes.
For these reasons, I am excited to have this opportunity to change the attitude surrounding food, exercise, and body positivity on campuses.