Shame on Body Shaming!
Written by Adelaide Ng
I’m sure we’ve all heard of the terms “fat-shaming” or “skinny-shaming,” but have you ever seriously considered the consequences of using such offensive language to describe someone?
Whether that is to their face, or behind their backs, body shaming is never acceptable.
Imagine being insecure about yourself, and having others point that out all the time. Even if they were “just joking”, you would probably feel horrible about yourself! Exactly! Nobody enjoys being criticized, so why do it?
What is Body Shaming?
In essence, body shaming is being critical of your own or someone else’s physical appearance - attitudes which are often conveyed through degrading language. As harmful as body shaming is, people still seem to believe that the entire concept is over-exaggerated and that it should just be taken “as a joke.”
But guess what?? Words matter! And even if you don’t mean it, using the wrong word choice might end up significantly harming someone’s self esteem. It is so important to note that even well-intentioned actions can lead to negative consequences. Speaking from experience, I can attest to the fact that feeling insecure due to hurtful things that other people have said can be incredibly painful. It is also important to note that there are a host of different mental health conditions that can result from feeling insecure about oneself, including eating disorders, depression, anxiety, and substance abuse.
Body shaming in ALL forms is equivalent to bullying.
Typically, body shaming occurs when people don’t fit into the miniature box of societal beauty standards, which, by the way, is ever-changing. The golden age of Hollywood (the 1930s to 1950s) celebrated curvy, hourglass figures, which quickly transformed to a reverence of tall and athletic bodies in the 1980s. Fast forward to today - the postmodern era - and our beauty standards continue to change constantly in response to the ideals promoted by Instagram models.
All this is to say: who knows what the future holds? Instead of trying to change ourselves to fit constantly changing, arbitrary beauty standards, why don’t we try to change the conversation about our bodies instead? Instead of continuing to exacerbate the emphasis on physical appearance created by body-shaming language, why don’t we make an effort to stop bringing each other down?
To get us started on this mission of removing body-shaming language from our vocabularies, I have compiled a list of phrases that I think we should avoid using due to their potentially negative impacts on others:
“I could never pull that off” - Stop comparing yourself to others! Doing so not only promotes toxic relationships, but also provokes body image issues and low self esteem
“You’re really pretty for your size” - This passive aggressive “compliment” basically implies that someone’s body size isn’t usually considered beautiful, which only serves to draw more attention to their body in a negative way - an outcome that is opposite to your original intentions of praising them.
“Stop saying you’re fat, you’re really pretty” - What this phrase implicitly communicates is that being fat is not attractive, thereby only reinforcing the false belief that one has to be skinny in order to be beautiful.
“Are you really going to eat that much?” - Focus on your own meal. PERIOD.
Personally, I have heard a lot of these phrases being said, not necessarily directed towards me, but even as a bystander, I have definitely felt offended. It’s not only rude to insult someone just because they do not adhere to your personal beauty standards, it’s also inconsiderate to deliver these comments at the potential cost of their wellbeing. You just never know what a person could be struggling with, so thinking twice about what you say is the least that you can do.
Generally, remember this as a rule of thumb: if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all!
About Adelaide
Hi, I'm Adelaide! Welcome to my column :) I'm a 15 year old student in Hong Kong and I was inspired after witnessing the influence of body insecurities on my friends.
In this column, I will be sharing my perspective on how body image and body insecurities are associated with mental health.